Men and the Power of the Visual - Transcript
Our subject today, with regard to male sexual nature is probably the area where men differ from women the most. In fact the difference is so great that it's probably impossible – no, not probably – I think it is impossible for a woman to truly understand how we react when we are visually affected by seeing female flesh.
There's no analogous reaction in women. Of course the women find men attractive, obviously. And some women will find some men gorgeous, of course, but its not the same. Look, there's no woman who fantasizes men's thighs. Alright? Let's be honest. There's no magazine out there of great men's legs for women to look at and get aroused by, but there sure are plenty websites and magazines of women's legs for men to get aroused by.
The visual for the man has no analog in the woman. That doesn't mean women don't get turned on by some men, of course they do, but its some men. Whereas men get turned on by just any sight of female flesh on any female that they will find attractive.
Its so different, its so amazing, it even amazes us guys. We are stunned by it.
There was a man who came over to me – I'll never forget – after hearing my lectures on male sexuality, and he said, "Dennis, I've got a story to tell you. I was in front of some stores and in the window was a mannequin, a seated mannequin. And I couldn't believe it, I found myself looking up her skirt." The guy was looking up – I don't know, whatever -- what are they made of? Plastic? Porcelain? Whatever they're made out of?
That's how instinctive it is for men to look at female flesh. And please understand that in of itself is arousing to men – just looking.
And just in case you think that this is because our society fosters it, or it's a playboy culture, gay men are the proof: gay men look at male bodies and parts of bodies just the way that heterosexual men look at female bodies and parts of bodies. Thats the proof that's it's built into males. That whatever is the object of our desire – male or female – just seeing is stimulating.
As I keep saying, there is no analog among women. Thats why girls should know – high school, college girls - what they often call, "Oh, Isn't that attractive!" is in fact very possibly attractive, but men don't start thinking, "Ooh, that's really attractive." They think, " Wow, that's sexy!" Meaning it arouses, it stimulates. Thats what it does and it's impossible for women to understand how deep this is among men.
There are guys – I remember once a guy played a trick on me, well, he didn't play a trick on me... I was in my 20s and I was approaching a red light, and the guy next to me said, "Look at the girl in the next car!" and I did, and I bumped into the car in front of me.
I mean these are embarrassing things, but that is how powerful the visual is, and that is why billions upon billions of dollars are spent by men looking at females, and probably hundreds of millions of dollars spent by men looking at males if they are gay men. And that is the reason for porn.
I'm not making a judgment here, I am merely stating why it is so powerful. That's why men will pay to see topless women. You don't have an analog. I know, there are male strip places, but what is the ratio? Ten thousand to one?
Yep, that is the power of female skin on men, and that is why, if you want to understand men, the first thing you have understand about their sexuality is the power of the visual. It doesn't exist elsewhere, like it does with men.
That's why you will have ads on billboards for all sorts of products. I'll never forget one for a Tequila, where you just saw her legs and the bottles of tequila, and that was it, and that was enough! You would never, ever, see an ad just showing men's legs. People would laugh; people would think it was absurd.
An ad with women's legs is not considered absurd, it's considered alluring, and that's the power of the visual for the male.